i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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