please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
