Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
