My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
