I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Randomize
