i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
3 2 1 whiskey
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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