everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
