You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
