dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize