so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize