I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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