Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
