I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
