I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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