we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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