Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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