Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
You did what with his pubic hair?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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