I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
