We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
