Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
