yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
