worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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