My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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