we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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