therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
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My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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