wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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