Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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