I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
