If i come over, it means nothing
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
