Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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