you didnt know i had herpes?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
