is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize