So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
