these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
