sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
