How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
