You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
