what day is it and did you see me today?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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