I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
