Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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