remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
