I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
i out mim tonsoeep
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