She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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