Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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