nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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