i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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