Cold hands, warm shart.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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