Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
