my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize