her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
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Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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