It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
