Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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