I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
well you can't waste a boner
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
