just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Is it penis luge time yet?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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