dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
