Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
