It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize