i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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