I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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