Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
