i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
