I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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