Having a random hookup so left but love u
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
