Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I think my vagina is haunted
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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